i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
