worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
