I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
