Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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