if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
