one might say we're banned from that church
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
