i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
