and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
