At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
