This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
