We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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