he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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