Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
