I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
