good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize