Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
