I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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