would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
