he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize