U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
