im drinking this country out of the recession.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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