I don't think brook has ever known best
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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