he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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