I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
