remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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