I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
