vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
