When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
