I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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