it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
