these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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