you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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