Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My first STD was from a foam party
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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