I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
