I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
