One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm sobbing to NWA
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
