I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
