Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
