just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
