The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize