My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
