no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
