we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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