There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
