During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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