Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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