omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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