I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize