Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
