my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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