the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
