I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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