wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
