Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
