dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
