at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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