the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
