he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
