speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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