Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
