Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You can't just leave with hair like that
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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