i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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