I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just pee around me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
