just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize