I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
