I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
