she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
