she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
