Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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