So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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