The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
