This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
